Sunday, November 15, 2009

Confusion

I am happy. I really am. I have taken steps in my life to ensure that happiness. I have cut back on the hours at my dead end job. I have made the completion of my thesis a priority. I have the support of an amazing husband. I love every single one of my friends, they all support me and I know they are there for me when I need them. I am lucky enough to have an amazing, understanding family who I love so deeply it sometimes hurts. Also, my pets are fun and comforting in their own special ways.

Why then am I unable to motivate myself? Why do I have difficulty getting out of bed in the morning? Why do I avoid talking on the phone when a friend calls? Why is it so hard to stick to the plans I have made for myself? I woke up this morning and planned to have breakfast then walk into the office to do some work, followed by some gym time and a walk home. Then my evening and night was going to be filled with thesis work. Not an overwhelming or intricate plan so why is it 5pm and none of it has been completed?

I am not writing this blog to whine, but perhaps to vent and see it writing and put it in public will force me to see how ridiculous I am being.

4 comments:

Adrienne said...

If you find an answer to your quandary, please let me know.

I find myself sleeping til noon (which I haven't done since high school), not working out, and zoning out into the computer or tv for hours. Not wanting to do anything, I don't consider myself unhappy, but I can't motivate myself to do the activities I need to do (i.e. work out). So I guess what I'm saying is that you aren't alone??

* meish * said...

We've all been there! But I know that even with the unmotivated, unproductive days (and here I am surfing the intertubes and typing this instead of working on my big paper for work), you WILL accomplish what you've set out to do! As my people say, "Jia You!" (literally, "add gas." go figure.) YOU CAN DO IT!

Anonymous said...

Beth- I totally am in the same boat. I work from home and find myself wasting hours on end on the computer, daydreaming, doing absolutely nothing- I am an attractive, successful 27 year old and it seems as if my passion for life as been deflated. What does give me comfort though is that I truly believe it is up to me to change- there is no medical reason, another human being, or any reason other than myself and my attitude that is keeping me from being productive- it's up to me to get off my butt.

Anonymous said...

Odd, you express a concern and people only talk about themselves.