Sunday, November 15, 2009


I am happy. I really am. I have taken steps in my life to ensure that happiness. I have cut back on the hours at my dead end job. I have made the completion of my thesis a priority. I have the support of an amazing husband. I love every single one of my friends, they all support me and I know they are there for me when I need them. I am lucky enough to have an amazing, understanding family who I love so deeply it sometimes hurts. Also, my pets are fun and comforting in their own special ways.

Why then am I unable to motivate myself? Why do I have difficulty getting out of bed in the morning? Why do I avoid talking on the phone when a friend calls? Why is it so hard to stick to the plans I have made for myself? I woke up this morning and planned to have breakfast then walk into the office to do some work, followed by some gym time and a walk home. Then my evening and night was going to be filled with thesis work. Not an overwhelming or intricate plan so why is it 5pm and none of it has been completed?

I am not writing this blog to whine, but perhaps to vent and see it writing and put it in public will force me to see how ridiculous I am being.