I searched the ever useful internet to see what others have said in this arena. It seems to me that even the most nonreligious attempts to offer insight still refer to verses in the bible. How can this be a comfort to everyone all of the time? I guess it doesn’t need to be everyone, but simply most. I have however, found snippets here and there that are somewhat helpful. Of course, there is no real answer as everyone experiences grief differently and no one can ever fully understand exactly what you are going through. The most important tool in our box is the support of the living. We don’t need them to understand what we are going through or even try to, but simply letting us know that they are there and that they exist in this world as someone who cares about you and your wellbeing. I would think that in the end this is the ultimate comfort.
I am not entirely new to loss either, yet I continue to struggle with it. I have been to about 6 funerals now and not a single one is easier than the last. It seems a bit strange that experience with loss does not make losing any easier. Anything else we do in our lives gets easier as we do it more often. I find that when I am reminded that our time here on Earth is limited my mind wanders to those who are still living and who are so important to me that I could not imagine trying to live without them around. This group of people is actually quite large. How do you ever get used to not being able to pick up the phone knowing that the person on the other end is the only person that could solve the particular problem you are calling about or the only person that could relate to what you want to share or the only person that knows you well enough to even want to listen to your silly story? Does time truly heal all wounds? Or do we learn to embrace our wounds with time?
“A life remembered in the hearts of the living is not lost” ~A headstone at Rose Hills I saw yesterday
With that sentiment I wanted to remember our recent losses
Grandma Rose (Matt’s Paternal Grandmother)
She was an amazingly kind and open woman. I was immediately welcomed into her home when Matt took me there to meet her as his girlfriend. She had a full life and actually received her BA in Social Work in 1946 which is an impressive feat in itself! She has three daughters and one son who will all hold her close to their hearts. I feel privileged to have known such a wonderful person and honored that she was able to make it to my wedding last year. I got this email from her the day after the wedding “The wedding was so nice. I'm glad I was able to be there. Love, Grandma Rose”
Although not on the same level as the loss of a person I feel the grief experienced from the loss of a pet effects us a great deal. My friend had to make the very difficult decision to put his cat to sleep today. This kitty was extrememly young but had a terminal illness (FIP) that has no cure. The vet thinks he probably already had it when he was adopted. As any pet lover will know this is the most difficult thing to go through and my thoughts are with him.