Confusion

I am happy. I really am. I have taken steps in my life to ensure that happiness. I have cut back on the hours at my dead end job. I have made the completion of my thesis a priority. I have the support of an amazing husband. I love every single one of my friends, they all support me and I know they are there for me when I need them. I am lucky enough to have an amazing, understanding family who I love so deeply it sometimes hurts. Also, my pets are fun and comforting in their own special ways.

Why then am I unable to motivate myself? Why do I have difficulty getting out of bed in the morning? Why do I avoid talking on the phone when a friend calls? Why is it so hard to stick to the plans I have made for myself? I woke up this morning and planned to have breakfast then walk into the office to do some work, followed by some gym time and a walk home. Then my evening and night was going to be filled with thesis work. Not an overwhelming or intricate plan so why is it 5pm and none of it has been completed?

I am not writing this blog to whine, but perhaps to vent and see it writing and put it in public will force me to see how ridiculous I am being.

Heroes usually don't like being called heroes but that is part of what makes them heroes...

First of all, I want to thank Matt for his service even though I am glad this strike team is over:


Next I wanted to share how we could help the families of the two fallen firefighters from LA County:

Donations are being accepted in their memory at:

F&A Federal Credit Union - "Memorial Fund"
P.O.Box 30831
Los Angeles 90030-9972

There have been three accounts opened to benefit the families of Captain Tedmund "Ted" Hall and Fire Fighter Specialist Arnaldo "Arnie" Quinones. Their untimely death on August 30, 2009 has been a shock for everyone. Following are the accounts:

Tedmund "Ted" Hall:
Account/Member Number 617171

Arnaldo "Arnie" Quinones:
Account/Member Number 617172

Combined Pool Contribution:
Account/Member Number 617170

Responsibly Made

ok I know I owe a Coachella post but I keep seeing things saying they are responsibly made and I needed to rant a bit.

For a while now I have been making an effort to live my life in a more socially and environmentally conscious way. For example, I have started buying more Bamboo textiles instead of cotton, using sigg bottles instead of multiple plastic bottles, buying more products with natural ingredients, and trying to buy things that are made locally.

It seems like it is still very difficult, if not impossible, to be 100% 'good'. The bamboo requires chemicals to turn into cloth but it grows quickly and heartily, the sigg bottle is made of aluminum, the natural ingredient made products often come in wasteful packaging,and buying essential items locally is difficult when everything is made in China.

I have no problem supporting the global economy but I do find a sort of irony in the fact that shipping things from china to my local store is extremely ungreen seeing as how large barges and the trucks to move the product are a huge pollution problem. I am also intrigued when companies state that their product is responsibly made in China so they could bring it to you cheaper. Well, to be honest I would rather pay more for my products in order to provide someone with a real living wage and real benefits. I understand that if one company did in fact pay workers at a factory here in the US a truly living wage they would lose the competitive pricing edge, but it would have so many other positive effects: The money paid to them would go back into our sore economy, we would increase moral by creating more jobs available to the low skilled labor force, and we would cut down on transport pollution as well as production pollution since the US has more stringent regulations. I guess American Apparel created a more socially conscious business model, but not all of their products are made using organic cotton or bamboo.

I don't have any solutions, I am struggling with how to mitigate all of my concerns and I have yet to come up with anything solid. Once I figure out why all reusable grocery bags are made in China and how I can find some that are not, I think I will feel a lot better.

Who's got two thumbs and is headed to Coachella tonight?

This girl:


As I was packing last night I realized I actually have dresses that are pretty much just for Coachella. I am also taking this parasol again so this is exact picture could potentially be taken this year.

I am so excited it's ridiculous. I thought it would make it difficult to focus on work today but actually I have been über efficient and have come to a lull as I wait for the day to catch up with my speed, so I blog.

I am sure you have all seen the awesomeness that is the lineup, but just in case:


I could list all the bands I am most excited about seeing, but that is slightly cliche and I usually find that I am pleasantly surprised by bands I had no intention of seeing...so the highlights of the weekend are difficult to predict.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...have I mentioned how excited I am?

Put some honesty back in hip hop

Skillz presents... Hip-Hop Confessions from Visually Inklined on Vimeo.

Fear of an Arab Planet

Since I have not been able to sleep well, I have been exploring the On Demand feature of my cable company and discovered the Sundance Channel. I came across an interesting documentary called Slingshot Hip Hop. I think the movie describes itself best:

"Slingshot Hip Hop braids together the stories of young Palestinians living in the West Bank, Gaza and inside Israel as they discover Hip Hop and employ it as a tool to surmount divisions imposed by occupation and poverty. From internal checkpoints and Separation Walls to gender norms and generational differences, this is the story of young people crossing the borders that separate them."

This movie moved me like nothing I have seen recently. I was able to view the conflict from the perspective of people living it daily, not from the well thought out words of politicians and corporate media. Even though the Palestinian rap may not be for everyone - even if it is for me - their story and struggle will tug at you if you are able to put aside your existing bias and truly listen.

I felt so extremely helpless after watching it. The only thing I could think of doing was supporting them by purchasing a t-shirt and the CD made from all of the artists that are featured in the film. I wanted them to know I heard them, I really heard them, and I will do my best to make sure a few other people hear them as well.

I hope you all can take a couple of hours to sit down and consider another side. Watch the trailer: HERE

Here is the shirt I bought also to spread the word just a little more:

Sleep is the cousin of death

It is 4:24 in the morning, I am sick, I can't sleep and I really really want to. My mind is empty while moving 1,000 miles an hour at the same time. It is now 4:39, interesting how little I wrote in that period of time. I guess I should try again...

A neat way to do an instructional video

also I dig this woman's style...and the song is pretty awesome too:

Nostalgia

I love Google's street view! It is a lot of fun seeing where I lived in London. I miss it a lot!

This is the street view of Metrogate which was basically a dorm/hostel like facility, but it was a really nice area and a great location. Close to Hyde Park and easy access to the tube. The only thing that proved difficult was grocery shopping. We would fill our back packs and tromp back to the house in the pouring rain. Something would inevitably be smashed when we made it back. Anyway, I was so excited to see it I wanted to share with everyone:


View Larger Map

I can haz bail out?