Friday, February 20, 2009

Eye Update

So I went to the optometrist yesterday to get a new prescription for my contacts and glasses. Apparently my eye is not ready for contacts and she would actually like to put me on some steroid type drops next week when I get back from vacation. I am kinda sad because now I HAVE to wear glasses always. I was hoping that 2 months was plenty of healing time for the ulcer :(

To make lemonade out of lemons I went ahead and upgraded the glasses I had (which were really only meant to be back up for contacts). The new glasses are Burberry which is great because now they will match my perfume. I also got a pair of prescription sunglasses because really, you can't go to Jamaica without sunglasses!

I have another appointment on Sunday when I get back at which point I will get the drops that have to be administered 3 times a day for 5 days. My dad says I probably won't get to go back to contacts until December which is unfortunate but like he said it really is not that easy to get a corneal transplate so its better to err on the side of caution (I suppose).

Well here are some pics of my new fancy glasses:




Monday, February 16, 2009

Beauty in Long Beach


A little light in my day...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Monday, January 12, 2009

MetaProcrastination

I find it interesting that I was looking up "Why people procrastinate" in a clear effort to actually procrastinate. Cambridge University Counseling Services had a page on procrastination that I figured I would share in an attempt to validate the last few minutes of my life:

Procrastination


If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.


Thomas DeQuincey


What is procrastination?


The avoidance of doing a task which needs to be done - postponing until tomorrow what can be done today.


Procrastination not only affects a person's work, but also commonly involves feelings such as guilt, inadequacy, self-disgust, stress and depression.


Often we try to disguise our avoidance by being very busy doing things that may be interesting, and even useful, but don't contribute towards the main goal - even doing something we normally hate - rather than writing, for example, just before an essay deadline!


Why do people procrastinate?



  • poor time management, often associated with a distorted sense of the time available

  • an inability to prioritise

  • overload of tasks at a specific time

  • anxiety about the task, so time is spent worrying rather than doing

  • difficulty concentrating

  • not knowing what is required

  • feeling overwhelmed by the task(s)

  • concern about failing or not meeting your own standards

  • fear of success and its possible consequences

  • perfectionism, often associated with unrealistic standards

  • negative feelings - e.g. "I'm stupid", "nothing ever goes right for me"

  • all-or-nothing thinking, where one setback is seen as a total catastrophe

  • being bored by the task

  • never having learned how to work or sort out problems while at school or living at home

  • avoidance of things which are disliked or difficult.


How to overcome procrastination


Overcoming procrastination usually involves both better organisational and time-management skills as well as a clearer understanding of its personal or emotional meaning.


The former skills can be learned and improved with practice. Although there are some useful tips that can help you improve, it is primarily a matter of finding the ways of working that best suit you rather than trying to rigidly follow someone else's model.


Counselling can help you to understand and change the personal or emotional aspects to your procrastination.


Here are some suggestions to help you get started:



  • Accept that there is no magic wand: you will have to do the task!

  • The words that we use to ourselves in thinking or talking about the task matter! They have feelings attached to them which colour our anticipation and experience of the work. Try changing the words "have to" and "can't" to "choose to" and "choose not to" - this won't always be true, but it will probably be more honest most of the time. After all, you don't have to do this work - you probably chose to come and do this course, research or job, and you could choose to leave it!

  • Take account of the sort of person you are, of your values and your expectations. Assess whether these "fit" with the way in which you are trying to tackle the task - do you need a new approach with which you will be more comfortable? Patterns of working vary from one person to another, and so do the desired outcomes.

  • Recognise self-defeating behaviour and its associated thinking. Try to work out why you procrastinate: what do you gain from it? Find out how to overcome such behaviour. You might choose to sort it out yourself, to refer to a self-help book or leaflet, or to consult the appropriate person, such as your tutor, supervisor, director of studies, manager, colleague or a counsellor.

  • Identify goals and make realistic decisions about how to do the tasks, and prioritise.

  • Ensure that you have the right equipment, information etc. to help in tackling the task. Some time spent in preparation and planning is vital - but not to the extent that no real work gets done. So set a time limit for the planning stage(s). Plan a (small) section and then work on it.

  • Whilst spending time planning is very useful, here's a word of warning to those who make very detailed plans which go wrong within an hour and are then ripped up in disgust - plans need to be flexible! Don't plan all the hours in the day; leave plenty of unplanned times and spaces - to allow for things taking longer than expected, and for you to have extra time for relaxation when they don't!

  • Break down tasks into manageable bits. Set yourself small goals - to read one chapter; to write 1 page; to work for 45 minutes, take a 15 minute break and then do another 45 minutes work.

  • Boost your motivation. Dwell on your strengths, on tasks you have accomplished and feel good about, in order to remind yourself that you can be successful.

  • Give yourself rewards when you accomplish something.

  • When you are getting stuck, rather than just stopping work, try a different strategy - take a pencil and an old, half-used piece of paper out of the bin, and scribble unplanned and unstructured notes and ideas to yourself for the task in hand. Or start on a different section of the piece (you don't have to work from the beginning to the end), picking the least demanding in thought or creativity.

  • Quite often procrastination is connected to anxieties about the quality of the work you hope (or fear) you will produce! At times like this, it is worth remembering that it's better to produce something rather than nothing!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Happy New Year!

I know I am late, and this isn't going to be the full blog I should write, but it has been a little while so I wanted to post something.

So here is a picture of my kitten and I sleeping...pretty much where I would always rather be:

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Christmas Eve!

I am at work and I am not very happy about it! Matt is working today too so I guess it's fine. I hope everyone is enjoying the season and enjoying each other!




Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Corneal Ulcer

Now, this is definitely something you don't hear everyday: "I have an ulcer on my eye". I just got back from my Dr visit and have to put antibiotic drops in my eye every hour while at night I have an ointment I need to put in my eye before bed. My right pupil is dilated, and will be for 3 days because of some special drops he put in order to prevent spasming. I have to return to him tomorrow at 2:15pm so he can see if it is responding to the antibiotics and what our next course of action should be. He praised my quick response to the condition because it really allowed him to catch it early. He was a little perturbed by the fact that my primary car physician didn't prescribe any pain relieving eye drops. He was also late because of a surgery he was performing and by the time he got to me he realized his nurses hadn't given me any pain drops either which really irritated him. He put them in right away and they felt amazing. He said I must have been in a lot of pain, which I was but I don't like making too big of a deal out of it because I don't want to overreact. When his nurse checked me in she was going to do a preliminary exam but when she had me remove my sunglasses she said she couldn't do it cause looking at my eye was making her eyes water. She said she sees eyes everyday and mine was not good...um thanks? The light was hurting my eye so much that I wore an eye patch, sun glasses, and a hat while my mom drove me to Harbor City. I felt like a movie star running from the paparazzi (kind of) lol. Anyway, I am sure this is not completely coherent but I want to get an update out there and I really shouldn't be using the computer in the first place. I guess the only good thing coming out of this is no work or driving for 3 days...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The state of things

So I am sitting here at work as my right eye swells and waters and turns red. I have no idea how it started but it is definitely getting worse. I have a ton to do so I cannot really go home, but I did try calling Kaiser at which time I was informed there were no appointments to see any doctor today and that they would call me to set something up as soon as possible. I don't understand that at all. What exactly am I supposed to do? Should I go into the office and drain my eye juices all over the receptionist until she can find some room to squeeze me in? How do people make their health insurance work for them? I stand by my belief that Kaiser is the McDonald's of health care, it is convenient, you know what you are getting, but it is never really that satisfying.


For those that are interested here is the current state of things:


*EDIT* I have an appointment at 1:50 today with my actual Primary Care Physician!!!

Bettie Page

Has had a heart attack and is in a coma here in LA. She is 85 so it doesn't look very good...

Monday, December 8, 2008

Matt's Parade Picture

Unfortunately my camera died right before the longest-parade-in-the-history-of-the-world ended so I had to use my camera phone to capture the moment. Obviously the quality leaves quite a bit to be desired but if you squint and tilt your head you can just make out that there is a Matt in the picture. Santa was strapped to an office chair that was in turn strapped to the ladder in front of the tiller box. I am not sure how Montrose is able to fill 2 hours (scheduled to be 3) of parade time, but I am fairly certain the city requires every inhabitant to participate in some way which is the only possible explanation I can conjure. My Dad, Martha, and sister all joined me to share in this exciting event which made the time so much more enjoyable! After the parade we walked down to Station 29 where I introduced my family to the other men at the station, it was a lot of fun for me to show it all off!